> One very common pattern I saw is that the conclusion is always that the dad is useless. Any provided facts are downplayed. Any omitted facts are imagined in the most negative light possible. And to be fair, there really are LOTS of cases where the dad is useless. The issue is more that posts needed to contain a mountain of evidence to return a neutral ground where the dad is no longer seen as a piece of garbage, rather than starting from neutral ground.
You can find quite a lot of data showing that the burden of managing domestic matters falls primarily on women. I would recommend people check out the book Fair Play which examines the problem and puts forward a system where people are assigned various personal tasks that need to be done (there are 100 in total, not all of which may apply to your life/household):
> The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
I really enjoyed Fair Play. While we didn't really prescribe to playing the game rigorously or really start keeping track of cards, it was a great read for our relationship and really made both of us look at how we lived our lives and acted in our relationship. We immediately made some small but lasting pivots that removed unneeded friction and now have new-found respect for each others daily "grind".
I've recommended it to a few friends and they have had similar stories. Nothing life changing, but some small, nice changes to the dynamic and how they think about it.
> I really enjoyed Fair Play. While we didn't really prescribe to playing the game rigorously or really start keeping track of cards, it was a great read for our relationship and really made both of us look at how we lived our lives and acted in our relationship.
This is probably the best (and maybe the only) way that this is a good game. As soon as it turns into score keeping, the relationship will almost certainly go sideways.
Maybe some relationships should go sideways, but that can be addressed in a different way.
> As soon as it turns into score keeping, the relationship will almost certainly go sideways.
The system / cards is not about keeping score: each card is a task, and whomever holds the card is responsible for it from start to finish. E.g., three of the cards are "Meals (Weekday Breakfast)", "Meals (Kids; School Lunch)", and "Meals (Weekday Dinner)"; this may fall to one person, but there is also the "Groceries" card:
> Your family needs to eat. Can we all agree on that? Good. So how do the pantry and refrigerator get stocked on an ongoing basis? With CPE. This includes noticing what’s about to be used up or expire, keeping a running grocery list, and getting to the market . . . ideally before you realize there’s not a drop of milk in the fridge. Even if your family orders groceries online and your go-to dinner is frozen pizza, this card requires CPE nearly 365 days a year. Consult the various “Meals” cardholders regularly so you can be sure you have taco shells in the cupboard for taco night.
So the Meals person(s) have to plan the meal(s), and make an ingredient list for those specifically, and add to to a grocery list, but grocery buyer needs to take stock of what is already present in the fridge/freezer/pantry and buy anything missing generally, and specifically for the meals planned.
They could have felt they were doing the right thing, and making a public statement of the situation, but knew it was a bit of a kamikaze tactic and so made it more painful for when the eventual backlash occurs.
IMHO so it tying CEO pay to stock price. Unless the options/cash-out is delayed for 5+ years after they leave the position, they can 'juke the stats' in the short-term while leaving the company in a bad place long-term (obligatory Boeing-being-run-by-MBAs reference).
> Given the size of the US, and the variety of local populations, I argue that local enforcement is necessary. Adherence to larger enforcement standards is also necessary.
In Canada, Ontario and Quebec have their own province-level police forces, but the rest of the provinces 'contract' the RCMP to do street-level policing in many areas (with larger municipalities having their own forces). Part of the reason for this is that with any organization there's overhead (training, HR, payroll/pensions, etc), and for smaller communities a larger portion of a fixed budget would go to those things, so by leveraging the RCMP those fixed costs are amortized wider.
In Ontario/Quebec, many smaller communities use the OPP/QPP for local policing (larger cities have their own forces) for the same reason.
For the community in the article, is there a reason why the same 5 cops couldn't become employees of the county's force? For really small counties, it may be necessary / useful to 'contract' the state police to run a local detachment.
> I never saw where he claimed to be a professor and hedge fund manager, I just thought he used to work/teach and now makes entertaining videos.
From his uni bio:
> Patrick Boyle is a Visiting Professor of Finance at Queen Mary University of London in the School of Economics and Finance. He has taught at Queen Mary University since 2009. Patrick teaches the Financial Derivatives and Portfolio Management Classes to Master’s in Finance Students.
> Patrick Boyle is a Founding Partner at Palomar Capital Management, a quantitative Hedge Fund. Patrick began his finance career in 1997 and has worked with Victor Niederhoffer, a former partner of George Soros' and has been a Portfolio Manager at RBS, Millennium and Nomura.
So the university itself vouches for the academic side of things, and the UK business registry has a "BOYLE, Patrick" for Palomar Capital Management (resigned as of 2018):
"The announcement was visible in a MOTD on every server in the fra3 location for the last two days."
"I have not touched any machines in fra3 for a week, how the hell would I know of it? Why do we even have #fra3-maintenance and #maintenance channels then, if that's your stance?"
> "I have not touched any machines in fra3 for a week, how the hell would I know of it? Why do we even have #fra3-maintenance and #maintenance channels then, if that's your stance?"
We put the MOTD up ≥7 days in advance and put it in relevant Slack channels.
> There's lot of annoying things that make it harder to admin for.
It also (AIUI) tries to walk the entire file tree, so have fun with NFS (auto)mounts.
It also amounts to letting off fork bombs: we set up limits for a maximum of 256 process per UID, and regularly get folks asking "what does this 'cannot fork' message mean?": it mean you're trying to DoS the system.
> we set up limits for a maximum of 256 process per UID, and regularly get folks asking "what does this 'cannot fork' message mean?"
The max limit on 64 bit systems is what, 4,194,303? So if you have over 16,000 users per VM this limit makes sense, otherwise it just seems user-hostile.
Every process takes some memory and other resource, yes a stale process will pretty much all end up all paged out and not massively in the way of active processes, but they still aren't entirely free so it is more than a bean-counting number.
Yes, under Linux (and most unix-a-like systems) small processes are cheap to bring up and tear down which is why we create them so much, and it is not uncommon for complex interactive commands and bits of shell scripts to create several¹, but these are all likely to be short-lived so a limit of 256 certainly doesn't seem to be obscenely low to me.
What could it be doing that requires 256+ processes to be kept around for a prolonged time?
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[1] made up example: comparing filtered content of two gzipped files and sending the result through a script to send alerts by mail if certain things are found would be 7+ (2x gzip, 2x or more grep, diff, bash, mail or curl depending on what service you are sending alerts through)
> The max limit on 64 bit systems is what, 4,194,303? So if you have over 16,000 users per VM this limit makes sense, otherwise it just seems user-hostile.
And yet we still regularly loads of >100 on our 64 core HPC login codes, and swap is regularly used even with 96G of system memory (we have per UID memory limits too).
What's hostile is the VSCode (and Codex and Claude) makers developing tools that basically DoS a system because they assume it will operate only on single-user machines.
(And WTF are you doing that you're forking 256 processes? We have quite a few expensive HPC nodes: use those to build, not the damn login nodes.)
> The max limit on 64 bit systems is what, 4,194,303?
What a weird framing... I'm not sure what you're even trying to argue. I mean a single process can overload the machine. Just because you can label 4m processes doesn't mean you can actually run that many programs. Just think about that for a minute. 256 processes is pretty generous
What would truly be user hostile would be to allow so many processes per UID that a small handful (maybe using VSCode) make the system slow or unresponsive to everyone else.
Honestly every developer needs to increase those default limits, they are too low for modern development... So you are just crippling them and a proof of that is they keep getting this error while in their regular workflow
I don't even hit 256 on my desktop with a shitton of things open and 75 firefox sandbox processes, much less on a remote server. What in heaven's name are you doing to cross 256?
Honestly I think this thread has just devolved to HPC admins vs people who don't understand how shared multiuser sytems work cause they've been stuck on a laptop for too long to remember.
> Honestly every developer needs to increase those default limits, they are too low for modern development...
The users can develop on >100 compute nodes, but choose not to bother doing any kind of forwarding/proxying/jumping to them and just do stuff on the login nodes.
If they can't be bothered to do a "ssh -J …" then it's on them. The resources are there.
> It's always "maybe later" and never "no seriously, I don't want this, go away"
No? When I'm asked about Apple Pay on an iPhone, it says "Maybe later". In the Settings it has reminder, and if I go in and say "No" it never pops up ever again (maybe on a iOS major version upgrade?).
Generally with Apple it's one "Maybe later" with a reminder flag set someplace, and then that's it.
It's slowly getting worse. For instance, the update nag for Pages and Numbers Applications towards their newer subscription-capable equivalents can't be disabled in the MacOS UI. Selecting "Not Now" still results in the nag appearing every. single. day.
My favorite one on iPhone is the Apple Health app. Marginally useful to track some trends, so I was using it occasionally. Every 2 weeks it will nag you to "Make sure the Health features on your iPhone and Apple Watch are set up the way you want them" with a banner that takes up 1/3 of the screen. There's not even a "maybe later". No matter what you do, it comes back every 2 weeks. Sure, I can "just" close it. After 5 years, I've closed this stupid nag close to 150 times.
> One is that if it has been using WI-FI and I plug-in my dock with an Ethernet cable attached, I lose internet access because MacOS can't gracefully handle the new interface becoming available.
And when your default route changes so will the TCP connection end-points. This is mostly an issue when you have a stateful session, like SSH, and less so with 'bursty' traffic like web surfing or e-mail.
By default wired connections are higher priority. I've been on Wifi with a MacBook and patched in with the Network Settings panel open and see the change, which is reflected in the output of "netstat -rn". Underneath the hood most of the macOS kernel is (Free)BSD/Unix.
Until we get SCTP multihoming popularized this will generally be an issue on any operating system. Though it would perhaps be nice to perhaps have a socket (TCP) API flag to tell the kernel "keep me on the initial interface as long as it exists" so sessions don't flip over.
I've never experienced this behavior with a Linux or Windows machine.
I'm not talking about sessions dropping. It has the symptoms of an IP conflict, absolutely no traffic can pass until I disable Wi-Fi. Any other laptop I have ever used would just switch, maybe drop an SSH session, but not this.
You can find quite a lot of data showing that the burden of managing domestic matters falls primarily on women. I would recommend people check out the book Fair Play which examines the problem and puts forward a system where people are assigned various personal tasks that need to be done (there are 100 in total, not all of which may apply to your life/household):
> The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a figurative card game you play with your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
* https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/44071899-fair-play
* Interview: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6FfxfRMQkw
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